how could anyone discourage their child from doing what they love?
i hope i die a happy woman
that refreshing kind of exhausted that sets in after a long hike uphill
live without pretending
love without depending
listen without defending
speak without offending
He asked, “Why do you dance?”
She replied, “Why do you live?”
“Because I must.”
“Well, that’s my answer too.”” —Hans Christian Anderson, The Red Shoes
to be honest, the last few weeks i have been caught in a slump. It isnt really too unusual for me, i can lose myself for weeks at a time. I revert to this horrible “survival mode” where i do nothing for love. i move through the motions. i do things just so that they are done. my sole purpose is to come out the other end alive.
Its really the worlds worst coping technique and afterwards i regret it, because truthfully i love my job, i love my family and my boyfriend and my degree, but during these slumps i loathe them. I want to leave uni, i block out other people, and i exist in the simplest form of the word. i eat, i drink, i sleep, i study. i do all the things i need to do. but i do them without purpose. And then one day, something snaps me out of it.
his hand in mine, or a simple comment or the colour of the sky or the way i got out of bed, and i am living. there is electricity pulsing through my nerves, my bones reverberate, my soul wakes up. i finish all my assignments in a day, i cook, i read, i write, i feel love in kisses and smiles and hugs, i dream, i sleep well, i dance
i woke up this morning and i was living
i wont let my soul hibernate again.
“the distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasnt the world, it wasnt the bombs and burning buildings, it was me, my thinking, the cancer of never letting go. is ignorance bliss? i dont know. but its painful to think, and tell me what did thinking ever do for me? to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I’ve thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.”
my life. as outlined by Jonathan Safran Foer in “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close”
i have to speculate, that god himself did make us into corresponding shapes.
Lay thee down. Park your head upon my pillow. Naked trees they dress in crows, Greet the horses coming nearer. Through the rains that bring you down. You’re a man, humble as a hope. Oh, lay with me. Oh, closer to my body. When things go wrong, you’ll find you’re a bleeder. when things go wrong youll find youre a believer.
you do what you know, you expand in movement until you find some secret language that speaks for your body and for your heart. it gives you back the meaning.